Rediscovering the heart of yoga
During my 200H vinyasa teacher training course, I loved learning about yoga philosophy. Time would fly by and I would have so many “aha” moments. Yoga extends far beyond the mat only. Yet, I caught myself starting the year forgetting about this!
As a yoga teacher myself, I've experienced firsthand how easy it is to become fixated on the physical practice. I found myself returning from travels, eager to dive deeper into my “yoga practice”. What I meant by that was my asanas practice. I was primarily focusing on mastering challenging poses and drafting creative sequences to teach. Little did I know, life had other plans in store for me.
Following two incredible months exploring Bali and New Zealand, I came back to Switzerland and I was struck with excruciating back pain. Although I had always been aware of my weak back, this pain felt different. More serious. It soon became clear that I was dealing with a herniated disc. I found myself unable to practice. Even child’s pose felt out of reach. And I got upset about it. More precisely, my ego got upset about it. I won’t sugarcoat it, this physical condition also affected me mentally, emotionally and energetically.
I kept hearing “how could this happen to you?” or “but don’t you practice yoga?”. These comments hurt me and I found myself descending into a negative spiral of self-doubt. I kept questioning my qualifications as a yoga teacher. First, the imposter syndrome kicked in. Then, I blamed myself like I never would anyone else. Until I was reminded of the true essence of yoga by a dear fellow yogini, Darja.
Photo credit: Dewa Koyo (2023)
When my friend Darja told me that I might not be practicing yoga through asanas as I envisioned, but that I may be experiencing yoga on its philosophical level, it put everything back into perspective for me. Even though I knew it, I needed to hear this. That in that moment of physical pain, I was myself reducing yoga to fancy postures and sequences!
Little by little, I began to shift my focus inward, embracing the principles of ahimsa (non-violence) and tapas (self-discipline). I meditated more regularly. I also enjoyed shorter asanas practices, which were better adapted to my current physical capabilities. Rather than crying over my inability to perform jaw-dropping asanas, I started to celebrate every small milestone in my journey towards recovery.
I share this experience to highlight the imperfect nature of our journeys; both on and off the mat. As yogis and yoginis, we are neither exempt from setbacks nor challenges. And that’s ok! Personally, it is through these obstacles that I rediscovered the true essence of yoga.
To conclude this blog post, I invite you to consider how you practice yoga outside of your mat. Let’s remember that yoga extends far beyond the practice of mind-blowing flows.
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